Hello, world! My name is Michelle (@therustystirrup) and I’m thrilled to be a guest blogger for Sarah this month. Sarah and I became Insta-friends during the pandemic and have kept in touch through social media. I love how encouraging she is and how she advocates for marginalized communities, so when she asked me to be a guest blogger for Pride Month, I was thrilled and honored.
So, who am I? Why am I writing this?
Well, I’m a queer equestrian based out of Texas, and while I have been privileged to be a part of a barn community that is open and inclusive, I also have first-hand experience with ways to make your LGBTQ+ barn mates feel welcome and supported. So, let’s dive in.
- Don’t Assume
You know that phrase, “when you assume you make an @ss out of u and me?” It definitely applies when meeting new people at your barn. Don’t assume that every person you meet is straight or cis-gendered. My wife and I have been married for twelve years, and the number of times I’ve had to correct someone about *who* I am married to is plentiful. The best way to prevent silly assumptions is by using gender-neutral language. “Is your spouse coming to the show too?” “Is your significant other coming to your lesson today?”. This eliminates assumptions and allows your new barn mate to speak freely about their partner without the embarrassment of correction.
Also, if spouses are being invited to a barn outing or gathering, please make sure to let your queer barn friends know their S.O. is also invited. I promise a simple sentence like “I hope your spouse can join us too” makes a big impact.
Adjacent to don’t assume, I also want to bring up respecting people’s privacy. If your barn mate isn’t out to everyone, make sure you honor that you are trusted and to not out them to others.
- Honoring people’s pronouns
Y’all… it’s not that hard. If someone lets you know their pronouns, just use them. Honoring someone’s pronouns is the bare minimum you can do to let your new barn friend know they are seen and supported.
It may seem awkward to discuss pronouns when picking out a stall and if that seems like something outside of your comfort zone – try looking at social media to see if pronouns are listed. And while you are hanging out online – add *your* pronouns to your profile. It is a great way to show your allyship to the trans and non-binary equestrian community. Not sure how to do that? Here is a link
One huge thing you can do as an ally for your LGBTQ+ barn friends is to do the work of correcting others when pronouns are wrong or used incorrectly. Speaking up for your friends when they are not around is so important! Help create a positive space by advocating for queer friends even in their absence.
- Know Where Your Money Goes
Support businesses that support your queer friends. A lot of larger corporations (looking at you here, Hobby Lobby) donate to organizations that actively fight to restrict access to healthcare and promote anti-LGBTQ+ legislation. Finding businesses that support their LGBTQ+ employees and fight for equality is important. Do a quick search if you don’t know – The HRC’s Equality Index is a great place to start for larger corporations!
Larger athletic ccorporations that are Pro-LGBTQ+ all year long include Columbia, REI, Under Armour, and Nike.
A few of my favorite Equestrian brands are Murieen Equestrian, Equifit, Remarkable Leather Goods, Two Dark Bays Shoppe, Golden Fox Equestrian, Profane Equestrian, Double Oak Tack, and shameless plug– my shop Show Fee Sticker Company.
If you are looking for an organization to donate to, I highly recommend The Trevor Project, Lambda Legal, or your local LGBT+ Community Center
- Educate Yourself
I love having conversations about queer issues, but I don’t want to feel like I’m giving an educational lecture or seminar every time I come to the barn. Don’t make your queer friends do the heavy lifting for you. Some of my favorite educational websites are GLAAD and the Human Rights Campaign. PFLAG is also a great place and they have local chapters you can be a part of!
I also encourage you to engage in conversations outside of the barn and attend local events that support the LGBTQ+ community in your town. Also, check in on your friends and ask them (truly ask them) how they are doing. There is a lot of anti-LGBT+ rhetoric happening- so please check in on your queer equestrian friends. If they speak to their feelings or open up, make sure to listen and not center yourself in the conversation.
Part of being an ally is legislative awareness. Staying informed about legislation that is impacting your LGBTQ+ friends is important. Check out websites like The Equality Federation and National Center for Transgender Equality for updates on current laws and advocacy efforts.
- VOTE!
Your Vote Matters! You are but one voice, but together we can create change! Exercising your right to vote and choosing policies and policies that champion LGBTQ+ rights and equality is so important.
The staggering reality is that today there are over 100 anti-LGBT+ bills being introduced across various states in the US. By voting for progressive candidates, you can help protect the rights and dignity of our LGBTQ+ community members. Researching candidates ahead of time can help educate you on the stances of different politicians. Websites like Vote Smart and Vote Save America are great resources.
Also, use your voice to encourage others to vote! Spread the word about the importance of voting. Make a trip to the polling place a barn family event! And remember – local elections are just as important as the big ones.
Regardless of your sexual orientation or gender identity, we go to the barn to find peace and relax. Creating a welcoming and inclusive environment is part of that peace. Remember, small actions can lead to significant change. So, let’s gallop forward, making our barns a place where everyone feels seen, heard, and respected.
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